Spanky's Place

1 - With no small thanks to the 'Oxford Dictionary of Quotations':

What two ideas are more inseperable than Beer and Britannia? H Pearson.

Life is with such all beer and skittles; They are not difficult to please about their victuals. C. S. Calverley.

O Beer! O Hodgson, Guinness, Allsopp, Bass!
Names that should be one every infant's tongue! C. S. Calverley.

To suckle fools and chronicle small beer. Othello.

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. Geroge Bernard Shaw.

I'm only here for the beer. Ros Levenstein.

Lo! The poor toper whose untutored sense,
Sees bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense;
Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer,
Beyond the muddy ecstacies of beer. Geroge Crabbe.

We have been borne down a torrent of gin and beer. W. E. Gladstone.

And to one of my personal and far less erudite favourites:

I'll dwink to that. I'll dwink to anything. Count Duckula.

2 - Kitty, you are so wonderful! Thank you!
(I particularly like Crabbe's prose. Please correct me if I'm wrong; but I believe this piece is a very good example of a traditional English heroic couplet.)
-Devin.

3 - I'm a cheater, I'm afraid: https://www.quotesandsayings.com/finquoteframes.htm

For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
Charles Bukowski
US (German-born) author & poet (1920 - 1994)

Religions change; beer and wine remain.
Hervey Allen

Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman?
Hell no!"
Hunter S. Thompson
US journalist (1939 - 2005)

Marriage is based on the theory that when man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste he should at once throw up his job and go work in the brewery.
George Jean Nathan
US drama critic & editor (1882 - 1958)

Lemme tell ya, Edith, you can't really *buy* beer... you can only rent it.
Archie Bunker
All in the Family

Want beer. Like beer. Beer good.
Buffy Summers
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You see, I think beer just brings out the animal in ya. Now, I know that beer companies sponsor the show - I ain't talking about them. *Them* shits is delicious.
Dave Chappelle
Chappelle's Show

Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer.
Norm
Cheers

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Cliff
Cheers

I don't believe this. You're taking advice from Oswald? Oswald who once swallowed a sponge to soak up all the beer, so he won't get drunk?
Kate O'Brien
The Drew Carey Show

Wow, what a great diet. You lose weight by drinking beer.
Drew Carey
The Drew Carey Show

Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer... just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I've got places to go, people to hit!
Drew Carey
The Drew Carey Show

If men needed abortions, there would be drive-thru windows with beer on tap and ESPN on the TVs.
Female Patient
ER

Typical male fantasy. Women drinking beer. I can guarantee that a man made that commercial.
Lois Griffin
Family Guy

Pawtucket Patriot Beer. If you drink it, hot women will have sex in your backyard.
Announcer
Family Guy

Hello, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Fire Arms? I have an alcohol question: Who was in the very first Lite Beer commercial? I say it was Bubba Smith but I have a friend who thinks it was... Hello?
Al Bundy
Married with Children

So don't adjust that dial; and, while we're gone, if any talking animals ask you to buy some tacos or beer-for God's sake, do what they tell you. You've been watching Sports Night on CSC. Have a good night.
Casey McCall (on the air)
Sports Night

What is it with this chick? She got beer-flavored nipples?
Patrick
10 Things I Hate About You

Most Americans are born drunk, and really require a little wine or beer to sober them. They have a sort of permanent intoxication from within, a sort of invisible champagne. Americans do not need to drink to inspire them to do anything, though they do sometimes, I think, need a little for the deeper and more delicate purpose of teaching them how to do nothing.
Gilbert K. Chesterton

They who drink beer will think beer.
Washington Irving

Where does one not find that bland degeneration which beer produces in the spirit!
Friedrich Nietzsche

You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER.
Frank Zappa

I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.
Sid Vicious

Men are nicotine soaked, beer besmirched, whiskey greased, red-eyed devils.
Carry Nation

I usually need a can of beer to prime me.
Normal Mailer

I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.
Johnny Depp

4 - It's nice. Foamy... comforting. It's... beer.
Buffy Summers
Buffy The Vampire Slayer

one of my favourites...

5 - Thanks Rob & Laurette! Some of these I already have. I'll add the "new ones" to the database tonight.
-Devin.

6 - My personal fave:
I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host. - Dorothy Parker

and a couple more for good measure:
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. -Dorothy Parker

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. - W. C. Fields

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. - George Burns

I'm not so think as you drunk I am. - John Squire

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day. - Dean Martin

It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
‘What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?’
‘You ask a glass of water.’ - From Douglas Adams' "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

7 - Oh yeah- one more:
Q: Why is light beer sometimes referred to as "sex in a boat"?
A: its f*cking close to water.

8 - To be honest Devin I am not that hot on literary styles so I couldn't tell you what the meter is of Crabbs prose, but it sounds about right. Glad you liked.

9 - Ok, the new beer quotes have been added to the database. Thanks everybody.
-Devin

10 - wow, what a thread!

you can try this too

https://www.google.com/custom?domains=www.brainyquote.com&q=beer&sitesearch=www.brainyquote.com&sa=Search&client=pub-9038795104372754&forid=1&channel=6423399426&ie=ISO-8859-1&oe=ISO-8859-1&safe=active&cof=GALT%3A%23008000%3BGL%3A1%3BDIV%3A%23F0C808%3BVLC%3A663399%3BAH%3Acenter%3BBGC%3AFFFFFF%3BLBGC%3AFFFFFF%3BALC%3A0000FF%3BLC%3A0000FF%3BT%3A000000%3BGFNT%3A0000FF%3BGIMP%3A0000FF%3BLH%3A50%3BLW%3A760%3BL%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.brainyquote.com%2Fimages%2Fbrainyquote_logo_s.jpg%3BS%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.brainyquote.com%2F%3BFORID%3A1%3B&hl=en

11 - omg check out the Billy Carter quotes, cracks me up...

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/beer.html