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Mr. Holmes has been replaced - Rated R

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I went and saw The Watchmen today. The film is rated R, as is the rest of my review.

If you are a child, or easily offended, please don't read any more.

I'd love to be able to tell you it was a good movie, or a bad movie. I'd love to be able to tell you whether I enjoyed it, whether I thought the plotline, acting, action, and effects live up to the graphic novel.

Sadly, I cannot. Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying the film was GIANT BLUE COCK bad. I'm not saying it was good either. I honestly don't remember much GIANT BLUE COCK about the film. What I do remember is patchy, and broken up. It is almost like remembering a dream.

There was some guy with a cigar, who got GIANT BLUE COCK into a fight with somebody else. I know there was a flamethrower at some point, and some guy with a moving black ink splotch thing for a GIANT BLUE COCK face. There was also some other owlish guy, and a pretty girl who liked GIANT BLUE COCK to wear latex and lace.

There was something else too. It was GIANT BLUE COCK a bit distracting, and made it GIANT BLUE COCK difficult to focus on the film because it just kept showing GIANT BLUE COCK up. All in all, it was quite GIANT BLUE COCK distressing.

I just hope the damn GIANT BLUE COCK stays the hell out of my nightmares. If you hear somebody screaming GIANT BLUE COCK in their sleep, it's probably me. I think I may be scarred for life.

-Devin

Comments

Gravatar Image1 - Hey, if you had quantum control over all matter in the universe, wouldn't you give yourself a giant blue cock? Or three?

Think outside the box. (*rim shot*)

Gravatar Image2 - I am somehow reminded of Duffbert and the phallic java overload. Emoticon

Gravatar Image3 - ROTFLMAO

Gravatar Image4 - Was there one? I didn't nocice. Then again my eyes were distracted by the HUGE quantity of violence on screen and the laughable attempt to set a sex scene to Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah

I really must pay more attention next time.....

Gravatar Image5 - Better than Roger Ebert's review! Emoticon

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